Dreams Start With Patience #46

Reading time: 4 minutes

If you interact with the world and people around you, you'll find yourself in situations where you begin to share stories.

It's inevitable because we're social creatures - we crave human connection.

Your network is your net worth - this is a platitude.

It's a simple platitude - overused at times.

But, it's the truth.

So, if you struggle to connect with others online and in the real world. 

This newsletter is for you to read.

I don't write about story-telling often, so I'm going to start with the principles first (as I always do)

But, before we get into this week's newsletter I want you to remember a moment where you told a story and no one gave a shit.

Tap into that energy.

It's time to learn effective storytelling.

Why you should learn to tell the best story possible:

When we start to have meaningful 1 on 1 conversations.

One thing occurs:

Judgement.

Because we all judge people to our own standards - and the stories we tell reveal a lot about who we are.

Why does judgment play a key role in storytelling?

You are always judging others - even if you don't realize it.

It's why so many people you meet are inherently negative.

It takes effort and care to not judge so harshly - most people run on autopilot.

Tell the best story you can, and you will have amazing results.

Effort in, respect out.

The best story-tellers all have this in common:

The ability to transport you to a whole new world.

I don't mean literally but when someone has captured our attention and begins telling a story we start to visualize the world and the people in it.

If you can consistently set the stage for your listeners to be mentally teleported.

You're already on the right path

Story-telling is broken down into 3 steps:

1. Collection/Ideation

2. Creation

3. Iteration

We'll start on how to collect and come up with good stories to tell.

Consider it a bank account for your stories.

It's always good to have a few great stories in your tool kit.

Meaningful lives are led through our recollection of our journey

Our life passes us by, you are mortal and know you will die someday.

It's harsh, but no one lives forever.

Once you acknowledge this you start to think about all the moments you've forgotten about due to the perils of time and world of distractions.

At first: Learn to document every day with at least 1 story moment

I use this system from a book called: "Storyworthy" By Matthew Dicks
Homework for life.

You will have a homework assignment every night to recall the day's events in a note-taking document or journal.

The goal isn't some ridiculously long and in-depth story about your day
(you're mortal, time is ticking)

The goal is to write enough sentences to REMEMBER what happened.

Start with one sentence, random words, and keep it to a minimum.

Example:
(21st birthday, drank whiskey with dad, got a new pair of shoes that didn't fit me.)

This is a rough sentence and for all of 2022, I documented like this every day.

It makes no sense at first but this allows me to teleport back to that moment that I might've forgotten in the mundane of everyday life.

I attach the date to this sentence and move on to the next day.

The result?

I remember more of my life and feel more fulfilled.

I'm not letting my life disappear because I'm consciously putting in the effort to remember and document it.

The same goes for my photography, the wonderful moments that are contained within a simple photograph.

I recommend taking photos as much as you can.

It's truly a beautiful way to bask in the glory of your life.

Pair photography with this homework-for-life system and watch your life explode with miracles.

Storytelling matters.

Without it, there wouldn't be an account of human history.

If you want to build more depth in your life, engage with the story-telling skill lingering inside of you.

The fulfillment and good times will be built upon one another.

I have a saying, I can't remember where I heard it first but...

"You either have a good time or a great story to tell."

When we look forward into the future we lose our autonomy over our thinking.

Through this quote, we can stop worrying about how life is going to play out.

Instead, we are focusing on the aspect of recording our lives even if it doesn't unfold to our preferred expectations.

Once again, everything is connected. Here? Inputs over outputs.

Every single time I find myself telling the stories of my life, I can't help but get emotional.

It's because it's my life.

It would be best if you did the same, this is introspection.

You are thinking about the past in a way of growth rather than with sadness.

What stories can I uncover? What story is major in my life but I can't remember?

There is always a story being told.

Stories create the world you live in.

Whatever story you're telling yourself will usually determine how you interact with others.

The creation of stories occurs from living life.

It's awfully simple advice - but it works.

The best storytellers are either:

A) People who have lived life to the fullest.

B) People who attempt to master storytelling.

Because stories are about you, how can we create fantastic characters?

By showing the audience, not just telling them.

The character is amazing... Well, why are they amazing?

This character went forth and created their own charity to help elderly people who have Alzheimer's disease.

Create vivid descriptions of the story.

The goal of creation is to teleport the audience to the location and situation.

Then you slap them with conflict and change, resulting in the storyteller coaxing the emotions out of them.

I've found it particularly difficult to create compelling stories.

The solutions require effort.

Not a lot of effort but you will have to commit to telling better stories and practicing.

1. The bane of perfectionism in storytelling:

If you're telling stories, chances are you are a creative person.

Creatives inherently struggle with the idea of perfectionism.

One wrong turn and the story will collapse.

One too many details and the story is boring.

A simple stutter or typo and the piece is destroyed before even being consumed by others.

Get over it, no matter how incredible your life is perfectionism will eat you alive.

The secret?

Engage with a beginner’s mindset - even if experienced.

Beginners have an advantage in their vision.

They typically tend to see things with nuance that a master wouldn't have.

This advice goes vice-versa as well.

2. The struggle of integrating your experiences into a cohesive story.

This is challenging because it forces you to look inward instead of outward.

You have to cut through the layers of thought and memories.

Chances are if you are recalling your experiences through memory it won't always be 100% accurate.

That's okay, just don't lie about the big details in your stories.

My experiences from being a photographer for the first few years of my 20s were insightful because with every photograph I could transport myself back in time to those moments.

Just take your time and be patient with the storytelling process.

Focus on one moment, write about it until your thumbs bleed, and attempt to remember everything.

Storytelling is a skill, the more you practice this skill the better you will become.

Practice, even in the most uncomfortable of situations.

Storytelling will get you laughs and it will also get you tears.

Become an amazing storyteller to create lifelong relationships.

People never forget someone who can emotionally move them.

We live in a world of noise, be the signal to individuals with the stories you tell.

Once you establish those emotions with your audience, they'll keep coming back for more.

Even in the bar, at work, or a social event.

You will attract people because of how your stories kept them in their seats or related to their circumstances.

The best thing to avoid when telling stories?

Your vacations.

In general, nobody wants to hear about how amazing your trip to Japan was.

People want to hear stories that relate to them.

That means, don't tell boring stories that are out of context to the situation you're in.

You can make a boring story exciting through a framework.

Setup: Why are you telling this story?

Conflict: What is in the way of achieving the desired result?

Resolution: How did you overcome this challenge? - whether person, place, or thing.

Create stories from the mundane, the emotionally charged, and the nuances of life.

For a productivity approach:

Consider jotting down your stories whenever they happen fresh in your mind.

That can be at night-time before bed or early the next morning.

All you need is a notepad and a pen.

Everything else is in your mind.

If you want to get even deeper:

Create a story archive, and refer back to it with the reason being to document your life.

Make time for your documentation, you can even use the time-blocking technique on a calendar.

This is a solution because we are constantly preaching:
“I don’t have enough time” - learn to prioritize.

Every day from 7 pm - 7:30 pm you write down new stories that have occurred or attempt to flesh out the old ones.

For an approach mixed with longevity:

Our lives are both short and long.

Time is a subjective experience.

For some people, the days are slow and the months fly by.

By capturing these special or not-so-special moments of your life:

Every single day becomes insightful or impactful through our recollection of our mortality.

We've lived, loved, and experienced.

Nothing stays the same forever

This is a fact.

It's a daunting fact, one that is usually met with resistance.

But we live on through our stories.

So, what story will you be remembered for?

I challenge you to go out and share a story with a friend using some of these techniques in the next 24 hours.

Thanks for reading!

Another way I can help you when you are ready.
1. Work with me! Coaching for writing and recording long-form content

2. The Patience Paradigm (curiosity → passion course)
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   Your friend who wants you to tell some f*cking great stories
   -Zachariah